I was about to pray this morning and had just gotten to the “Dear God” part when I realized most of my “Dear God” prayers are asking Him for something. “Dear God...Please bless me and/or bless so and so,” “Dear God please heal this such and such,” “Dear God please give...” “Dear God please forgive...” I realize I treat my heavenly Father less like my creator and more like my personal sugar daddy. I ask Him to do everything in the world for me and yet, what have I done for Him lately? Have I asked Him what He wants me to do for Him? And when He answers can I even hear him? I can’t I hear the “still small voice” because I’m too busy bombarding Him with my “Dear God’s” that I call praying. God wrote a whole library of books, placed them in the Bible, telling me who He is, and what He wants. I have read it like a textbook rather than savoring His Holy Word. I revisit my favorite parts and quote them where they fit into my life rather than where they need to be for His purpose. I end my prayers with “Thy will be done...” Actually, I’m asking that my will be done... of this earth instead of as it is in heaven. I’m thankful God hasn’t taught me a lesson like some of my teachers did... by putting me in a corner for talking too much; or have me write my infraction on the blackboard 100 times. “I will not chew gum in class. I will not chew gum in class.” I thank Him for not making me write a note explaining what I did wrong, begging for forgiveness and promising never to do it again!! And then keep my note in the desk drawer as a reminder of my promise should I ever make the same mistake again. His Son has already forgiven me.
This morning after the “Dear God” instead of asking Him for favors I thanked Him for favor. I woke up this morning with a prayer of thanks. Thanks and thanks and thanks. Thanks for what He’s done for me; thanks for what He’s done for those I love; thanks for when His answer was “yes,” in spite of me; thanks for when it was “no” for my own good; thanks for the twists and turns in my life that lead me to where I have arrived today; thanks for the opportunity to travel through the rocky roads ahead…knowing, trusting, believing that He is traveling with me, without me having to ask. And thank you Heavenly Father, for sending me my own personal angel of unconditional love, and sacrifice, my Mommy. I call her my angel, not because she was perfect, but because she was perfect for me. She taught me to enjoy and appreciate life. So, this morning I want to thank you, God, for the gift of my mother, the gift that keeps on giving.
My angel gave me lessons that came directly from You. I thank you, God, first and foremost for showing me, through her, that loving You does not have to be ostentatious. You can show the love of God, by how you live your life. You show it through how you love others. She showed it with her generosity of spirit, and her willingness to give joy. Her laughter, and ability to make others laugh was one of the greatest gifts. She was always willing to laugh at herself. I can still hear her laughter and feel the spirit of joy that surrounded her and continues to embrace me.
My angel practiced what she preached. She believed in telling the truth. She valued truth and modeled telling it. I’m not sure how “scout’s honor” became the pinnacle of truth. She was never a scout, neither was I…but “scout’s honor,” to her, was equivalent to placing your hand on the Bible. Tell the truth and you won’t be punished. Tell the truth and shame the devil. Maybe the message was, you don’t need a physical manifestation of truth, “word is bond.”
Another life affirming lesson my angel gave me was love of self. If I just looked at her, rather than watching her, and experiencing her, I might have thought that “love of self” was surface. I could have thought it was something that came with being born beautiful, having the face and figure some would die for. But that was not it. That was not her. She believed in and modeled presenting yourself to honor God, the God in you…presenting who and what you are, as the masterpiece He designed you to be…worthy of love, self-love, respect, and dignity.
God anointed my head with oil, my cup runneth over…surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. Yes, my cup spills over in so many ways…So, as the song says, I’m going to continue to count my blessings, and name them one by one, every morning and throughout the day. Yes, I’m going to spend more time listening to Him and thanking Him before asking Him. As my Father, He already knows. I’m going to start my prayers by counting and recounting my blessings.
Dear God, first on the list of my blessings, that are actually too many to count, I thank you for the gift of my mother.
Love and realness,